Best Business Idea #4 - Harness the love to lose with coffee roulette

Coffee being made

People love to lose. Don't believe me? According to Business Insider, out of 18,000 casino loyalty card holders, only 13.5% ended up winning any kind of money. Yet Nevada casinos brought in $14.8 billion in 2022 (Forbes). Why? Because people love to lose.

Okay, so casinos aren't the best bet. Maybe people fare better with the lottery? Maybe not—you have a 1 in 292.2 million chance of winning the lottery in the US. The lottery is soon expected to be a $194 billion industry, so people are throwing big money at it. And, even if you win, you're likely to lose. 70% of lottery winners end up completely broke. (Search Logistics) Why? Because people love to lose.

Strangely, people don't just love to lose money. They love to lose, well... just about anything. People, on average, complain 15 to 30 times per day (CNBC). Or, put another way, people brag about how much they've lost 15 to 30 times per day. That's right, folks—complaining is really just boasting about how terrible your life is, and people do it constantly. Why? Because people love to lose.

So, your free piece of business advice for the day is to give the people what they want. Give them an opportunity to lose. I do not recommend competing against the well-established casino and lottery industries, because you'd probably lose, and then we'd have to listen to you brag about your losses 15 to 30 times per day. Instead, try a new venue like a coffee shop to provide people with an opportunity to lose.

As an example of how this business would run, let's take 5 simple drip coffee orders from customers and describe what you’d do with them. For 1 order of your 5, you’ll provide the customer with exactly what he or she ordered. After all, no one else will feel like they're losing if there isn't a clear winner. For your next 2 customers, you'll provide decaf coffee in lieu of their caffeinated order. Of course, this deception will be spelled out in the coffee shop’s general terms of customer relations, but the individual customer will not be informed that he or she is the one receiving a decaf coffee. That is certainly a loss for caffeine addicts jonesing for their daily (or hourly) cup of joe. This loser group will be losing subtly enough that even the winners, if they find themselves groggy later in the day, may convince themselves that they too have had a decaf, giving them their own perceived loss about which to boast.

Obviously, the more spectacular the loss, the more compelling is the boasting it enables. Bear with me because there are multiple components to making this last loss both successful and spectacular. With your final 2 customers, not only will you be delivering them decaf coffee, but the drink will also include a single dose of melatonin. Obviously, safety is paramount, which is why your coffee shop will not provide to-go orders. People must drink their coffee in the shop, which will have extremely comfy recliners in place of the tables most coffee shops provide. As the melatonin kicks in, people will be compelled to take a nap in their luxurious seats rather than get behind a wheel or end up somewhere less conducive to safe napping. Rather than getting a peppy start to the day or an afternoon pick-me-up, 40% of your customers will be whiling away their time taking a nap they probably can’t afford to take. When they wake up, they’ll brag to all their friends about how they lost an entire afternoon because of that ridiculous coffee shop, but they really couldn’t have avoided it because it’s the only coffee shop along their daily commute.

And viola! You have now successfully stacked the odds against your customers, giving them what they really want, which is to receive the opposite of what they say they want.